How to be a Good Wife: Tips for the Prideful Woman
Written by: William BartlettAgain, this is just my opinion, mostly just to help women have a better understanding of what good men seek in a woman he wants to share his life with. Remember, that this is all written based on him behaving the way I described in my previous blog. Also, keep in mind that if you follow these guidelines, he will be more inclined and willing to change his behavior to match that of my previous blog. That being said, enjoy.
When I say prideful, I mean in the biblical sense, opposite of humility or modesty. I have met a lot of women who actually think they are God’s personal gift to men, and if a man is worth her time, he better work hard at pleasing her. Although I think that is true, that a man should always work hard at keeping his lover happy, I also believe that it should never be demanded. More importantly, I believe a woman should also behave in such a manner. Every married man wishes to have a good wife. Many people advise a new bride to be a good wife to her husband. But how does a good woman become a good or perfect wife? Many women do not know how, some do. A woman once told me, that she would like to be with a man that feels lucky to have her in his life. Well, that doesn’t come on its own. You gotta make him feel that way. Remember, a marriage is made up of two people, and is equal. One person is NOT more fortunate than the other. You should be just as grateful to have him. Most of these qualities of a good wife are already part of a good woman’s personal virtues, but the rest can be developed.
It is my strong belief, that everything listed in this blog, would come naturally to a woman who is Humble. From humility comes eternal joy, and pure greatness.
Here are some of the Qualities a man looks for in a wife:
- 1) Be pleasant: “We should treat others the way we want to be treated”. Never be rude to your husband, family, or friends. Be warm, kind, positive, understanding and friendly. Your husband doesn’t wanna see you treating other people like garbage, and him the only one nice. Work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be one of those people who make everyone around you feel bad just because you are having a bad day. Welcome your husband with a smile when he comes home instead of a sour face. A good wife honors her husband by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Listen to him talk about his day especially if it was a difficult one. If you don’t like how your husband is treating you, then take a minute to reflect on how you are treating him and correct your own behavior, first.
- Treat your Husband with Respect: If you want respect from other people, well guess what? You gotta give respect first! That is how you earn respect from others, by giving it first. Respect can be reflected in the way one talks and behaves. Always speak in a loving way and refrain from speaking in a harsh manner. That includes profanity. Usually keeping bad words out of an argument will make all the difference between a discussion and a fight. Calling each other bad words, is the best and quickest way to disrespect each other. But not just that. Using profanity at all in a heated discussion causes anger and blood to boil. A good wife respects her man and she never chooses to belittle, strike, humiliate or harm him in private or in public. It is better to watch what you say and think BEFORE speaking, because it is impossible to take back the words you say once they are said. I cant stress that enough. Once something gets said, that’s it. You may be forgiven, and it may be forgotten, but the damage will always be there, like a scar. A good wife will treat her man with respect in front of others and at home.
- Communicate: Communication is key to a good and solid marriage. Do not hide things from your husband or keep secrets after marriage. Be honest to him. Find time to sit and talk with your husband on a daily basis even if it is for only half an hour. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share anything with your husband, then your marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener when your husband is talking. You may have a dozen important things to tell him but allow him to talk first. Don’t interrupt him either, wait til he is finished talking before you start. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems the moment he comes back from work. Good Communication also helps to build trust and strengthen your relationship. Marriage is a partnership, a team. Do not make any major decisions about the family without consulting with your husband. Fights and problems WILL happen, but do not let the world know about it. It is best to solve it between yourselves. That means, you don’t gotta run off and tell all your friends and family about the fight you just had. The fight you had last week over shopping or whatever is over and done with. So move on with it and stop rehashing old stuff and reminding him of his faults. Again, do not resort to name calling, hitting, spitting, breaking dishes or anything else when you lose your temper! If you do, he may actually start to fall out of love with you and you could lose him all together. Cant stress that enough.
- Be Supportive: A husband expects his wife’s support and understanding especially in times of troubles. A good wife loves her man through his successes and failures and provides reassurance when he’s feeling down. She is a nurturer and an equal partner in the marriage. Support your husband in all stages of his career and life. Do not belittle your man or hurt his ego. It is often heard that ‘A woman can make a man or break a man’. This statement is so true, I should have it tattooed. There’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to negatively criticize him or be condescending to him, especially in front of others. Be proud of him and his accomplishments, and genuinely complement him. If you do this you can expect your husband to treat you in the same manner and also respect you more for your support and thoughtfulness. When you don’t agree with him, respectfully let him know you don’t agree.
- Do not nag: No man would like a nagging wife. That’s what they have a mom for. No man needs two moms. If you want to have something your own way, or you need him to help you with something, then ask him nicely. I think some women don’t even really know what nagging is or means. I invite you to take 5secs, and type in ‘Nagging’ in your google search bar. There are so many great definitions out there. My personal definition of nagging is: Constantly reminding somebody of something that they are already aware of, in an irritating and annoying manner, until the action has been preformed. Many wives think that the only way to get her husband to do something is by nagging. But the truth is that your nagging can create unwanted rift or can make things worse between the two of you. Often times, the more you nag, the longer it will take your husband to do what you want. Your husband is a grown man with his own thoughts and desires. Just because you think he should be doing something particular doesn’t mean he has to do it. If it is something that needs to be done, and he is a procrastinator, the only advice I can give you, is to remind him once a month at the most, and do it very kindly, OR, learn how to do it yourself and when it has been done, KINDLY tell him that you learned how to do it, because he kept putting it off. Just remember, nagging will never accomplish anything, except unhappiness in your marriage. There are plenty of blogs out there on how to avoid nagging, and alternative methods.
- Give him his space: As a wife you need to understand that your husband has a life other than you also. He has his family, friends and colleagues who too are part of his life. He also may have some hobbies or passions he is involved in. Don’t expect his undivided attention. Don’t stop him if he wants to go out and hang out with his friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or sport that he likes. An interfering wife can sometimes be too irritating. For some men, the toilet is like a throne. Its not just a place to use the bathroom, but a few minutes of peace and solitude. Sounds silly., but some men take this very seriously, so, when your man goes to the bathroom, leave him alone.
- Keep him happy in Bed: Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential things in any marriage. Please your man in bed. There is a myth, “If you can’t keep your man happy in bed, he will find it elsewhere. After all, a man is a man”. This is simply not true when talking about good men. Dirtbags do that stuff. BUT, after years and years of an unhappy sex life, it can and probably will make a man unhappy in his marriage. Talk to him, and learn what he likes or doesn’t like. Everyone defines a good sex life in an infinite number of ways, so that is something that has to be figured out between the two of you. Only advice that I can give, is to try to be mature on the subject when talking about it, don’t be all giggly about it. Also remember that ‘being open-minded’ doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. Don’t do what you don’t want to do, but be willing to try reasonable ideas. Also, this should be common sense, but ill say it anyway. Never bring another person into the bedroom. Never! A marriage is a partnership, not a group.
- Plan Surprises: Men like surprises too. It can be anything like organizing his birthday party without him knowing about it or planning a special night of passion by playing a seductress. Your surprises do not have to be elaborate and can be as simple as making him his favorite snack or any of his favorite dishes once in a while even if you would rather eat something else. Remember, two of a man’s favorite things, are food and sex, or things related to those.
- Express your love and appreciation often: Men like praise and appreciation. Make the best of your time together. Men like to hear the words ‘I love you’. Also join him in activities that he’s interested in even though you would have preferred to do something else. Give him a thoughtful gift every once in a while. Make it a point never to forget the special days in his life. Pamper him often, especially when he is at home, not so much in public. You can even cook for him or give him a good massage. Making him dependent on you by doing his chores when he is at home is not a bad idea. Let him miss you and think about you when you are not around. These gestures won’t go unnoticed and it may even inspire him to do something nice for you. Don’t withhold affection.
- Honesty, Loyalty and Dedication: A good wife should be honest, loyal and dedicated to her husband. Marriage is a life long commitment and the vows you have taken at the time of marriage should be kept in all conditions.
- Neat and Clean Appearance: A good wife honors her man by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Take special care in your appearance everyday. Include exercise in your life. Practice good personal hygiene. Some women feel that once they are married there is no longer any reason to dress up and look nice. A man likes his wife to smell good. If you are unhealthy or not presentable your man will notice. Everybody has lazy days, and that is understandable, but don’t make it a lazy life or form a habit out of it.
- Prepare the House: Maintain a clean house at all times. Clear away the clutter and spend time decorating the house. Apart from this, be wise with money and take all the responsibilities of a wife seriously without complaining. It is a partnership, and he should do his half too, but you don’t worry about that. Im talking about your half! Clean up after yourself. There’s no reason to spread out your 50 bottles of shampoo all over the bathroom counter. Get rid of stuff you don’t use, move stuff around, put things away. Don’t clutter or horde stuff away. Keep your stuff clean, and it might inspire him to do the same.
To conclude, if you don’t like how you partner treats you, stop and think about how you treat your partner first, and correct your own behavior. If you are an ideal wife, that will help your man to be an ideal husband. A man usually responds to the way that he is treated. If he is treated like garbage, he will act like garbage. But, if you treat him well, he will be the Man of your dreams, a pleasure to you and an Eternal Blessing.
