How To Be A Good Husband: Tips for the Common Sense Impaired

How To Be A Good Husband: Tips for the Common Sense Impaired

Written by: William Bartlett

These are the keys to a successful marriage. Things that I have learned from personal experience and from other people. Through out the few adult years that i have so far lived, I have learned and experienced a great deal of life lessons, the hard way. This is my advice. Nobody’s perfect. We just try. We are all gonna make mistakes, nobody is a life expert. Life is a learning process. All we can do is our best and learn from our past mistakes. But we also have the advantage of learning from other people’s mistakes. We can take advice from people who have learned the hard way. This is why I am writing this. Think of this as cheat codes for life. Don’t learn the hard way, open your mind and learn from the wise.
Please excuse the bad grammaticalness… My goal is to get the point across, not to write an essay. Count all the "trust me"s, I’m not ashamed of admitting things, I’ve learned from it, and I’m at peace with it.
What does it mean to be a Man? As men, we are the leaders of the household, whether your wife thinks so or not. If she thinks she is in charge, well that just aint right. She’s just picking up the slack for you, because it needs to be done. Even if she’s controlling, deep down, whether she realizes it or not, she wants you to step up and be a man, and take charge of your home and family. It shows passion, and that you actually care. You have a responsibility as a man to lead your family back to our Heavenly Father. God's plan for you is to be a worthy priesthood leader,  and provide for your family, protect them.

Here are some tips for being a Good husband.
1.) Be Humble and have a Good Attitude: Nobody likes an arrogant man. Be pleasant to everyone around you. That means your wife, friends and your family. Be warm, kind, positive, understanding/patient and friendly. I’m sure you’ve heard the expressions ,‘What goes around, comes around.”, or “ treat people they way you want to be treated”. The first one is true not just because of “karma”, but because people naturally will treat other people the way they were treated. Its physics, every action, has an equal and opposite reaction. Try to arrive home as cheerful and lighthearted as possible, even if you had a bad day at work, you’re physically exhausted, or stressed from traffic, or whatever the case may be. Key word is TRY. Just because your wife dont work doesn’t mean that the work she does is less strenuous. She might have been struggling with the children and the housework all day, which is one of the most stressful and physically challenging tasks for anyone to do on their own. Common sense.
2.) Fidelity and Loyalty: Faithfulness or Loyalty is one of the prime qualities a wife needs her husband to have. Have a sense of Honor and Duty. Remember that when you got married you made a sacred covenant. The honorable thing to do is to fulfill the duty to your wife that you took upon yourself the day you got married. It is your duty as a man to provide for your family! Never expect your wife to contribute to the smooth operation of the household. Even in this day and age of women in the workplace, most women prefer to have that as an OPTION rather than a necessary part of their lives. Motherhood and caring for a husband and home usually takes priority for her. Never assume that the money you earn is yours to do with as you like. You have a family to think about now and their needs must always come before your own. Common sense.
3.) Be Reliable, Responsible and Supportive: Every Woman wants her man to be reliable and be there for her when she needs him. Support your wife in all stages of life. Provide reassurance when she is feeling down. Do not belittle her or hurt her ego. If she is a working woman, understand her work pressures and problems. Be proud of her on her accomplishments and dont forget to compliment her. Be available for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on, or when she needs support from you. Let her know that you care for her. When you are not near her, AT LEAST text or make a phone call to her, even if you talk to her for only a minute or so. When you come back home after work, or on weekends, do things with her or help her in whatever way possible. She would appreciate even if you are not much of help, because you tried to help her. Usually, its the thought that counts. Be her friend. When you don’t agree with her views, respectfully let her know that you don’t agree, but give your reasons. Common sense.
4.) Adapt and Be Sensitive: As years pass on, you’ll start to notice that the once glowing woman that you fell in love with years ago, might not look the same or behave in the same as she used to. She may be tied up with the pressures at home, like the needs of your children, financial obligations, etc. Allow her time to relax by taking some work off her shoulders or take some time out so that you can spend some time together relaxing. Remember that as the leader of your family, you cant expect her to carry her equal share of the marriage workload, all the time. As leader, you gotta be the one who helps her up when she falls. You gotta pick up the slack when it gets to be too much for her. So there will be times when you gotta carry her, and work harder than she does; remember, that’s your duty. But also remember to not do everything for her. I mean, only Help her when she NEEDS it. An Ideal Man needs to be sensitive to the requirements of his wife, treat her as an equal, understand when she needs to stay late at work or help with housework and contribute to the expenses. Be sensitive to the needs of your wife and try to meet them. Do not let your feelings toward life’s changes affect feelings toward your wife. Common sense.
5.) Show Respect: If you expect respect from others you need to treat others with respect too. Respect can be reflected in the way you talk and behave. Always speak in a loving manner and refrain from speaking harshly. A good husband never chooses to belittle, hit, humiliate, or harm his wife in public or behind closed doors. Think about what you gonna say BEFORE you say it, since it is not possible to take back what you say, after its been said and heard. Treat her with respect in front of others and at home. Talk to her better than you would talk to your mom. DONT be checking out other ladies in front of her. That is extremely disrespectful. Also take into consideration her opinion when making important decisions of the family. If you are bringing your buddies home let her know in advance. Common sense.
6.) Judgment and Emotional Baggage: Many of us have emotional baggage. But do not bring crap into your marriage. Many men praise their Ex wives, girlfriends or mother in front of their current wife. Avoid judging every action or opinion your wife has and understand that she is different from you. Her experiences and likings may be different from you too. Comparing her or making her feel that she does not measure up will only ruin your marriage. Trust me. Common sense.
7.) Communication: The number one killer of relationships and marriages is the lack of communication. It is the key to a successful marriage. Women also expect honesty in men. Honesty is what builds trust in your relationship with your woman. She may even forgive your mistakes, but only if you are honest with her and promise not to do it again. Women like their men to be open with them at all times and not keep them in the dark about what is going on in their man’s life. Keep your woman informed at all times. Find time to sit and talk with your wife on a daily basis, even if it is during Dinner time. Sit down at the table and eat dinner with your wife! When you’re married, breakfast is no longer the most important meal of the day. Dinner is not about the stuffing of your face. Its about spending time with your family, and catching up. Its a life saver to be able to talk to your loved ones at least once a day. Even if you think your therapy is sitting in yer recliner with a beer and the TV remote. You can do that crap after dinner. Whether you realize it or not, talking to the one you love, will help you more than you’ll ever know. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share with your wife then your marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener when she talks. Your wife too wants someone to listen to her and empathize with what’s going on in her life. Listen to your wife’s complaints, and at least pretend to care. Dont act like its a chore. Women cant resist a man who understands her moods, attitude, feelings, values, likes and dislikes. Again, trust me on this. This would encourage her to open up with you and not keep secrets. Good Communication helps in building trust and strengthens your relationship. Make your woman laugh often. Just like the Joker asked, “Why so serious?”. If you arent funny, and are super corny, that’s good enough. Your woman will notice that you’re trying. But you still need to work on that. Women love men who are witty and have a sense of humor. Fights or problems WILL happen between you two, but do not let the world know about it. Instead, solve it between yourselves. The fight you had last week over shopping or whatever is over and done with. So move on with it and stop bringing up old stuff and reminding her of her faults. NEVER resort to name calling, hitting, spitting, breaking dishes or anything else when you lose your temper. Dont swear at each other. Ever. Once you lose respect for each other as people, and start talking to each other like animals, your marriage then be extremely difficult to salvage. Again, trust me. Common sense.
8.) Love and Affection: Show your love and affection to your wife as often as possible. She deserves it. Every woman is a sucker of affection. If you only give them that stuff to get them in bed, or to get what you want, your wife is going to notice and think it’s insincere. A good husband will appreciate his wife and will notice her, even after twenty or fifty years of marriage. She needs you to notice when she gets that new haircut or dresses up in something sexy for you to come home to. If you fail to notice what she is doing for you too many times, she may just count it as fruitless (unproductive of success) and eventually stop trying. Gift your Partner something fancy when she least expects it. Surprise her by planning a trip, preparing a nice dinner, giving a bunch of her favorite flowers or taking her out for shopping. Every Woman likes to be pampered. Women, one way or the other, are nothing but over grown babies who constantly need care, no disrespect, but every woman has their likings, give things what she likes instead of forcing your likes on her and show her that you care and would always be there for her. Never forget the special days and anniversaries in her life. Make an effort to initiate spontaneous affection with your wife. Strengthen the relationship by doing things together, whether it is a common interest, or only something she likes. Give her a hug or surprise kiss and tell her how much you love her. Hold hands with her when you’re out together. These are the little things that she dont have to go out of her way to thank you for, but that will never be taken for granted. Little things show your wife that you’ve thought of her, and it will help you reinforce your commitment to your wife. Common sense.
9.) Offer Protection: A woman need to feel safe and secure with her man. She needs to feel that when he is with her, Nobody is gonna harm her. It doesn’t matter if you’re weak and skinny or a muscle man, you have to at least be the kind of guy that when you are with her, other dudes should not be making a pass at her. She wants you to act like a man and treat her like a lady when she is with you. If you need advice on this, tap into your internal Guy Code, and figure it out. Common sense.
10.) Give her Space: As a Husband you need to understand that your wife has a life outside of you. She has her Parents, friends and coworkers who are part of her life also. She also may have some hobbies or passions she is involved in. Don’t expect her undivided attention. Don’t stop her if she wants to go out and hang out with her friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or want to spend some time with her parents. When shes spending like three hours in the bathroom with the door closed, leave her alone, man! Shes in there doing all kinds of crap you dont want to know about. Give her the privacy she needs. If you’re the jealous type and need attention like its oxygen, cut that stuff out. Use this time to catch up on video games, movies, golf, or whatever other hobbies you like to do with out your wife. Common sense.
11.) Keep her happy in Bed: Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential things in any marriage. Good Sex helps to strengthen your emotional and physical attraction to her. Please your wife in bed and be faithful to her. No woman would tolerate a cheating partner. Good sex is vital, when it comes to a satisfying relationship and if you are not skilled in bed that is going to be a major turn off. To correct this flaw, you’re gonna have to figure that out on your own, because this blog is rated PG-13. But there is plenty of books out there on the subject that you might find helpful, but since this blog is about common sense and written for those without it, ill help you out a little bit. Dont be selfish or lazy, man. Seriously. A woman’s physical needs are so much more complicated than ours. If shes comfortable with talking about it, then let her give you advice, and tell you her likes and dislikes. Listen to her without judging or laughing at her. Trust me, you dont want to screw this up. Every woman is different. If your wife is the shy type, and doesn’t like talking about it, then you gotta try things out, but dont be stupid with it. Thats all I’m gonna tell you, gotta figure that stuff out on your own. Good Luck. Never grumble about having to support children you didn’t want to have. If you were irresponsible enough to help her get pregnant, then it is your duty to pay for that child. Do not bring porn into a relationship! This is important, and is definitely common sense. Porn will only create unrealistic expectations in your mind about your spouse’s libido, body, and comfort level with weird sex positions. Porn pollutes your mind and desensitizes you to the unique sex shared between you and your wife. The only Sex you should be having is emotional, lovemaking. There is none of this in Porn. Remember, foreplay is more than just the bases. Common sense.
To conclude, if you don’t like how you partner treats you, stop and think about how you treat your partner first, and correct your own behavior. If you are an ideal husband, that will help your wife to be an ideal wife. A wife usually responds to the way that she is treated. If she is treated like she is worthless, she will be worthless to you. But, if you treat her well, she will be the wife of your dreams, a pleasure to you and an Eternal Blessing.
I will be writing the flip side of this blog soon: How to be a Good Wife. Ladies, I’m gonna tell you what we look for in the ideal woman. What men consider “wifey” material, and how to accomplish it. :)